Who really am I?

When someone asks me the question who are you? the basic answer to that is I’m Lance Pescador. But really, who am I? so here are some basic info about me. Lance Pescador is my name, and everyone can call me by it. I’m 15 years old and I was born on the 13th of February, in the year 2007. It was a day before Valentine's day, so everyone is busy making something or someone. I live in a remote barangay, barangay An-annam in the municipality of Bantay. Other than this basic informations about me, what are the other random facts about me? and who really am I?

As a person, I see myself as a family oriented guy, although me and my 2 sisters are always fighting, like almost daily, I always put my family and loved ones, especially my sisters, at the core of my priorities. Personally, having them in my life, I like to have my own self time especially at home. I like being alone and doing stuff alone. Just like celebrating my own birthday. I celebrated my own birthday here in Vigan alone, because when I'm alone I feel safe, secured and free. Maybe I like being alone because of me, my insecurities about myself. To my parents and the society, I’m supposed to be masculine, tough, and rough. But, there are no such traits in me. It’s ok to be feminine and soft. It wont make you less of a man, despite how the world thinks. All in all, In the scale of 1-10, I know myself in the ratio scale of 8. I don't think I know myself that much, but I also know myself that much. Therefore, I rate myself as 8 because I always find and put time for improvement.

What do I want to be? It's a good question to ask and answer especially when it comes to telling information about me or our ownself. Many would answer this questions with their own passion, dreams and goals, but I myself would answer that differently because, I just want to be the best version of myself, the Lance who is not insecure about his ownself. I know, I've used insecurities as my own description this past days, In our ICT subject as well, when Maam asked us to describe or find a word that describes our ownselves. Well I can't stop myself from using it, because this word just describes me the best. Everytime I go out, I feel insecure, everytime I talk, everytime I walk, I felt insecure, so basically, I'm insecure about everything about myself.

Insecurities have destroyed my life, especially my confidence and self-esteem. As teachers said, I have to grow it all out. But since far as I remember, as a child, I keep on fighting this illness of mine, on making myself better and better daily, and making me the standard. But it doesn't go as fast as people wanted to. But a small progress is still a progress. An insecure kid who love to be loved. A person who likes to socialize as well as to be alone. A boy who thinks negatively in a situation needed of a positive answer. A man who laughs during a serious time. An overthinker who would connect impossible things happen in his mind. This is me, This is Lance.